Mar 17

Another one of those ‘fwd’ emails arrived in my inbox this morning. I thought I would share this one with you, as I found it quite amusing;

Why I fired my Secretary.

Last week was my birthday
and I didn’t feel very well
waking up on that morning.

I went downstairs for breakfast
hoping my wife would be pleasant and say,
‘Happy Birthday!’,
and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out,
she barely said good morning,

let alone
‘ Happy Birthday.’

I thought…
Well,
that’s marriage for you,
but the kids….
They will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn’t say a word.
So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low
and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office,
my secretary Jane said,
‘Good Morning Boss,
and by the way
Happy Birthday!’
It felt a little better
that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o’clock ,
when Jane knocked on my door
and said, ‘You know,
It’s such a beautiful day outside,
and it is your Birthday,
what do you say we go out to lunch,
just you and me.’
I said, ‘Thanks, Jane,
that’s the greatest thing
I’ve heard all day.
Let’s go !’

We went to lunch.
But we didn’t go
where we normally would go.
She chose instead a quiet bistro
with a private table.
We had two martinis each
and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office,
Jane said, ‘You know,
It’s such a beautiful day…
We don’t need to go straight back to the office,
Do We ?’

I responded,
‘I guess not.
What do you have in mind ?’
She said,
‘Let’s drop by my apartment,
it’s just around the corner.’

After arriving at her apartment,
Jane turned to me and said,
‘ Boss, if you don’t mind,
I’m going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment.
I’ll be right back.’ ‘Ok.’ I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and,
after a couple of minutes,
she came out
carrying a huge birthday cake …
Followed
by my wife,
my kids,
and dozens of my friends
and co-workers,
all singing ‘Happy Birthday’.

And I just sat there…

On the couch…

Naked.

Well…you would, wouldn’t you?

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Mar 10

I’m writing very quickly before I go out on a driving lesson with The Instructor who Officially Hates Me and Wants to Make my Life a Misery. God only knows why I decide to start writing a blog post 20 minutes before I have to leave when I’ll have the entire day when I come back but hey ho!

So today I want your help Fuelers. I have no job. I want a job. I could do anything; the world is my oyster so to speak, but my problem is I can’t think what direction to go in. I was rather attracted by the glamour of running away and joining a freak show but the travelling could become tiresome.

I am so very indecisive so I am asking you, dear readers, to help me. What kind of job do you think I should go for? Should I apply for professional hamburger eater? Bin lady? Morris dancer? Help me out people, and leave a comment in the comment box and you never know, your suggestion may lead me to my destined job! You have the power!

(sorry, no wee picture today as I have no time to google, must go reverse around corners for an hour and a half. Oh Joy.)

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Feb 25

You know those ridiculous forwarded e-mails that haunt your inbox and threaten that something horrific will happen to you if you don’t send it to 15 friends within 20 minutes of reading the email? Yes, I hate them too.

Well the most recent one that I received this weekend tells me to send the mail on to all my contacts otherwise I will look like this:

Apparently this is ‘the world’s ugliest man’ – What? Come again?! He reminds you of someone you know, you say? Ahhh well I suppose there is a slight resemblance…

:-)

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Feb 18

Surprise!! It’s me, I’m back!

Have a happy Monday and don’t forget to smile!

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