In my last Tips for Parents post, I let you know about a group of moms with a campaign to stop cough medicine (as a recreational drug) abuse among kids. This week, I’m focusing on email and your kids, but not before I leave my apologies and thanks to Kevin and Sylvie for being so tolerant of how negligent I’ve been at getting Tips for Parents up here on Saturdays. I totally missed last week’s Tips, and though it’s actually Sunday morning for me, I haven’t gone to bed yet and so I’m telling myself it’s Saturday!

Tips for Parents brought to you by Fracas.

Email is something most of us rely on to communicate. Whether it’s business, family or friends, we use it and it’s become second nature to most of us. Many parents then, because we rely on it so heavily, tend to assume it’s something our kids need to have as well. As a parent whose children are twenty, seventeen and eleven, I’ve had time and experience to decide where I stand on that issue.

I believe that rarely do kids under twelve, ever really need an email address. Some reasonable and acceptable kid’s sites do require an address to set up a child as a user at their site, but in those cases, I find that registering the child with a parent’s address is the smart thing to do. That way, you’ll be informed via that email, if your child goes into their preferences and changes any information in their profile. Assuming you as a parent, have registered them carefully using a screen name instead of actual information, you’ll feel relieved to know that if your child tries to change any information, you’ll be informed. You will easier manage their passwords as well. I assume being under twelve, that you are managing their passwords and their online access.

Email can be the route taken for the snake-oil salesmen of the internet age, to have access to your child. Webmail available such as hotmail, yahoo and even canada.com all subject the user to spam. That means everybody from those trying to convince anyone with an email address that they need penis enlargement products, to those who will outright try and deceive the unwitting into providing their bank account numbers, will be able to contact your child. Without your supervision, your child may not know which emails are spam, and may open and view mail containing information you’d rather they don’t see.

By the same token, your child may not understand why it’s such a big deal to open attachments from unknown sources, and your computer might suffer the consequences of a virus, worm or trojan. Even the best behaved child sometimes gives in to curiosity.

What about the times when your child signs a guestbook, or comments at a forum somewhere, and leaves their email in a submit form. The email registers as a live link, a ‘mailto’ and immediately, it becomes easy pickings for those harvesting bots and spiders that so many spammers make use of. Leave a live email link online somewhere and you can be sure that address will be the recipient of some very interesting mail.

Lastly, there is the point to be made, that if your child is using email you aren’t supervising, you really don’t know what personal information they’re giving out. We’ve all, despite our best efforts, ended up receiving spam and ridiculous content through no fault of our own. Sometimes, it’s that well-meaning friend who forwards silly poems without removing the lsit of former recipients or placing their own list into the BCC field instead of the To or CC field in their email program. The forward goes out and voila, you’re on a spam list. It could happen to your child too. They may not be forwarding the same silly poems that make their rounds of the office workers’ emails, but children do tend to forward quizzes to each other.

So what can you do?

1. You can simply say no.
2. You can choose to sign up your child yourself, being careful to use screen names and limit what information is given, maintaining the passwords and access to check up on them.
3. You can allow your child to use your email address, supervised.
4. You can make use of one of several nanny type programs to allow your child their own email, and you some peace of mind.

KidMail is one option I’ll outline. I’ve not used it, seeing as I choose to go with option #2 above. I did look for reviews. At Amazon one reviewer gave it a 5/5 stars. At Download.com their editor gave it 4/5 stars while one customer reviewer gave it a 1/5 stars rating.

Over at WiredSafety they recommend http://www.software4parents.com/.

Whatever you choose, please choose something other than not being aware. Your kids and your computer will thank you someday. Well, perhaps the computer thing might be stretching it a bit, but then again, in little more than ten years we’ve gone from hardly anyone being online to virtually everyone including our three year olds. You just never know, and you can never be too careful.

Next week… email and your teen.

If you have a tip you’d like me to share here, please email me at fracas at canada dot com and let me know. We’re all in this together!

Please. Pay attention to what your kids are talking about and learning online. I’ll be back soon, with more Tips for Parents.

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