Let me introduce you to Nick, an expat blogger based in Germany who recently joined Fuelmyblog - here is his first post for the FMB blog:)

You can visit Nick at The Junkyard.

I first heard about it a few years ago. I never thought I would get it. The ol’ picture box kept squacking that word “blog”. It sounded like some type of booger or swamp monster. I’m not sure who made the word up, but they had a sick imagination. Either way, it seemed harmless at the time. Little did I know it was a serious disease and addiction.

I had started acting differently recently and decided to visit my doctor to see if I was alright. He informed me, with a grim face, that I had become a blogger; there was no cure. The only thing I could do was blog about my new addiction to try and inform fellow bloggers of our blight and try and stop the madness.

Here’s what I found in my research:

The Newb Stage.

This is the first stage of blogging.

Symptoms:

1) This stage is marked by a steady increase in internet use, and a denial about this new addiction. Bloggers at this stage can be heard saying, “I’m not a… a newb.”

2) The opinion of said blogger suddenly becomes much more important to them than in the past. They write constantly and look for ways to, as they say on the streets, “get more hits.” This addiction to increase the popularity of ones blog leads to the next stage.

3) Person suddenly knows what a “widget” is, and has heard the term “CSS”.

4) Some patients have shown a decrease in sleep and a new found love for coffee.

This stage can last from anywhere to a week to sixth months. Some patients are actually cured at this stage and abandon their blogs; these abandoned blogs torment other bloggers who accidentally stumble upon them.

Blogger Stage.

Symptoms

1) Patients tend to join “communities” of other bloggers and start to participate in “forums”. They exchange “tips” on how to make their blog more effective.

2) Patients start to experience an excessive, and unexplainable, amount of joy whenever they receive a comment on one of their posts. It has also been noted that bloggers obsessively look at statistics of their own site and will resort to violence to increase visits to their site.

3) Blogger knows what the word “viral” means and for some reason want to have their blog become “viral”. At this point, the blogging disease becomes contagious. Helpless internet users stumble upon blogs with viral content where they are liable to catch the disease.

4) Person opens another blog and tries to start their own community further spreading the disease.

This is the final stage of blogging and there is no cure; the disease lasts indefinitely.

I also found out that there are different strains of this disease. Mine is particularly aggressive. I jumped to a full blown blogger with in a week. This disease adapts quickly, and I’m afraid it is only going to get worse.

Please let me know if you have found any more stages, symptoms, or have any advice for a fellow ailing blogger. I haven’t heard of a cure, but who knows, maybe there’s one out there.

There is still hope. Don’t give up fellow bloggers.

.

Related Posts

• Attention to the Fuelers
• Local editing for Wordpress
• We are Fuelmyblog: Nippon The Bus
• We are Fuelmyblog: Petite Anglaise
• Interview with the man behind Blog World Expo