Someone offers you a cup of tea but you prefer coffee. Do you accept politely and disguise the taste with a gingernut or do you stomp off and sulk?
You discover a secret that could make you very rich but your right to the Internet would be revoked – do you blog about it for a laugh or do you disappear from the Interweave and lead a lonely and unfulfilling life in the lap of luxury?
You’re in a hot air balloon with Kevin and Sylvie and it’s descending fast.
Who do you throw out? Sylvie is petite and weighs little more than a feather, Kevin is 7ft 4ins tall and is rather chubby.
You are in bed and discover you have company – Daddy Papersurfer and a kipper.
Who or what do you throw out? DP is sans teeth and to your certain knowledge ate a curry a few hours earlier and the kipper is several weeks old and is covered in green mould.
[FMB denies any responsibility for this post as most of it is rather offensive particularly the last question]
Hey isn’t life difficult it is full of such tricky decisions …. like should I book mark this post as a favourite or try and delete it from blogsphere for the sake of human kind….
[*snigger*]
I’m just wondering when Kevin will pop by …. I need to rig up a warning system … tee hee
I think he is at Bognor (big weekending it) … shall I ring Butlins and ask them to tannoy him ??
The tannoy this early might annoy
Try another ploy on the boy
[Giving me time to deploy
An effective looking decoy]
still pondering which part I would get rid of first…smelly fish or smelly DP…at least the fish would be pretty inoffensive…
If I was someone else – I’d just get out of the bed completely and have a cup of tea on the sofa …… as I’m me there’s no escape …. oh dear
1. I never eat Anything due to diplomatic reasons. It’s me who is going to have to digest it, not that someone!
2. Are we talking about “rich enough to buy the Internet back” or just “moderately rich”?
3. I’d throw out the bloke who has invaded our balloon to ask me such a horrible question.
4. Given the fact that I’d probably have eaten curry as well… I’m pretty sure the kipper will jump out at the speed of light at my arrival… hawhawhaw!
At last – someone who can answer a straight question …… tee hee
1. I never sulk, so I would have to find a gingernut… and an antacid since tea gives me heartburn. (I might have to find out what food/beverage the host doesn’t like though, and be sure to offer it in return. teehee)
2. Why should I compromise? I’d just blog about it under a pseudonym… and thus have my cake and eat it too. (Tee hee again)
3. I love Kevin and Sylvie so much… I’d throw myself out. (I think I just earned points…)
4. Being a most crafty individual, I’d carve up some makeshift teeth out of the kipper and with the leftover bits, fashion a bit of a ‘plug’ that would suffice to hold in any dangerous curry emissions until such time as I could escape. (Of course, I’d have to call in the troops to assist in the implementation of the plug since I.. quite honestly… don’t get paid enough to add that to my job duties.)
After such an episode though… I’d be sure to wake up from the nightmare and make a note about ever accepting that damn tea again… it obviously not only gives me heartburn, it gave me an incredible nightmare as well.
I think you’ve covered all the bases there young Fracarse …….
So let me get this straight – we’re in bed together, you’ve got a knife [for carving purposes] and then suddenly troops arrive to …… well whatever ….. and I’ve got a mouthful of mouldy kipper ….. honestly – life couldn’t get much better!!!!
@fracas: please don’t throw yourself out!!!
{kevin will have a plan b..he has watched enough Bear Grylls in his lifetime!}
Bear Grylls plays with his woggle ….. just sayin’ ……
What about a green & mouldy DP?…can I keep him?
It’s men like DP that keep me totally heterosexual.
Same here ……. ahhhhhh – goddesses – *wistful sigh*
You keep yourself heterosexual?
One look in the mirror is all it takes – tee hee
I don’t drink tea or coffee so I’d politely refuse both. (Yep I am a freak thankyou!)
Gingernuts – not my favourite but it’s a biscuit! lol
Hot Air Balloon – Kevin is 7ft tall! I’d be more amazed at that lol. Also I would probably be on the ground rather than in the balloon. I’d ring for help!
I’ll steal the duvet but surrender the bed and take up residency on the floor
Freaks are good …… no, really they are!!!