When I responded to the call for fuelmyblog’s blog writers, I offered to write about parents, kids and the internet. To be honest, my biggest problem for this first post, is where to begin.

Should I start with parents of really young kids, online finding Dora the Explorer and the likes of every colorful (in the red, orange and blue sense) character they’ve eaten as a breakfast cereal? Should I focus on those middle years kiddies, still searching for Pokemon or Shonen Jump yet sometimes stumbling upon cartoons like Cyanide and Happiness and having to ask mom or dad why those stick men sometimes say really bad things?

I could’ve started with either of those options, but instead, I’m starting where some people end… or rather give up.

Teenagers.

I should state first, that I have one who has graduated beyond (and is into those twenty-something years), I have one who is well into those teenage years (closer to the end than the beginning), and yet another who is not quite but soon to be in the teenage years.

I’ve got experience. I’ve done some things right… and some things wrong.

Gasp.

She admitted it. Done some things wrong. Well why the heck should anyone listen to me then? And don’t think I didn’t think of this myself, when offering up myself as the one to write this topic. I most certainly did.

I decided that even the things I’ve done wrong, are lessons learned, that someone else might benefit from.

So, starting out with what teens actually do online, wiredsafety.org conducted a survey, and quoting from their results:

- Sixty percent have filled out a questionnaire or form online and given out personal information (name, address, date of birth, phone number, or school name).
- Twelve percent have agreed to meet in person with someone they have met online.
- Forty-five percent have told someone they met online personal information, such as their real name, age or date of birth, address, phone number, or school name.
- Sixty-one percent have received pictures from someone online.
- Twenty-three percent have sent pictures to someone that they have met on the Internet.
- Fifteen percent have received suggestive or threatening e-mail messages that have made them feel uncomfortable.
- Three percent have sent suggestive or threatening e-mail messages that have made them feel uncomfortable.
- Thirty percent have been in a chat room where the discussion made them feel uncomfortable.
- Two percent have explored a bomb-building site on the Web.
- Thirty percent have read hateful messages on the Web.
- Fifteen percent have read messages on the Web that have threatened violence.

Most teens report that their parents have discussed internet safety with them. Most teens will also tell you that they “know how to take care of themselves” or that “they can handle the creeps” without your help. Most teens also, neglect to tell their parents about these situations, how often or how awful they are. Most teens will also not let their parents know that far more often than some creepy 68 year old lecherous individual is the source of their online difficulties, the source is a peer… someone their own age or close to it. You won’t know, because as most teens will do, they’re able to have open at one time, a window with their itunes, a window with their MySpace, Nexopia, Xanga, Livejournal or Vampirefreaks site, as well as a good half dozen Instant Messaging windows going at any one time. You’ll walk by and they’ll hit the tab with a safe window for you to see and it won’t look any more sinister to you than they were simply trying to keep up with so many windows.

Remember once upon a time, when teens full of angst would use the bathroom stalls to scratch out their frustrations with each other? Well the internet is now one giant bathroom wall where spite, hate and general misbehaviour have flourished right alongside the knowledge and the learning and the innovation. Cellphone videos sent to others via MSN or posted on Youtube, flaming emails and rumours or insults posted as screen names in their instant messages. I’ve seen it all.

Interested?

You can definitely google the topic of internet safety and find tons of sites ready to tell you not to let your children talk to strangers in chat rooms; you can even find the advice about getting nanny programs and patting yourself on the back for that. What I bet you won’t find (since I as a desperate parent, didn’t find it to help me either) is someone who will just sit down and tell you what the kids are doing to and with each other, and how it can be hurtful and even devastating to them and their families.

Come back next Saturday for more. I’ll be here too. Until then…

Iv g2g 4 nw, bt DY C nw? We nd 2 rouse n gt W it.

Don’t think you could quite catch what that meant if you walked by a screen and saw it for a few seconds? Think about this.

Mine was harmless (in deference to Mr. & Mrs. Fuelmyblog’s children, who may read here) but were it from your teen’s computer time, it could very well have been something with *ahem* adult content. You wouldn’t know. Don’t be upset with yourself for that.. most wouldn’t know. So come back, and I’ll do what I can to help.

Btw – the translation is “I’ve got to go for now, but do you see now? We need to wake up and get with it.”

Fracas

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